Remember Fiza, the Malay friend of mine whose wedding I attended about a week ago?
Well, if there was one thing that I’d forgotten to mention earlier, it was the fact that her marriage was arranged by her parents. I don’t know about you, but personally, I don’t find it comfortable. In fact, I find it weird.
So in her case, I hope I get all this correctly or she’d strangle me alive, her parents arranged for her to meet her then “husband-to-be”. And then she was given some time to know him, to get along with him, to go on dates with him and so on and so forth. According to another friend whose marriage was also arranged by her parents, daughters are usually given about 2 years before the couple is expected to tie the knot. And in Fiza’s case, she and her then “husband-to-be” had gotten along quite well, and they were comfortable if they were to get married (meaning they don’t act like strangers anymore). And that was how she married him.
I don’t know, I’d find it very weird if I had to get along well with a guy because I eventually have to marry him. I mean, before I even considered him a friend, I already know that whether I liked him or not, I’d still have to marry him. AARRGGHH.. I know I’m not explaining this very well, but anyhow, I found quite some interesting reads on arranged marriages on Wikipedia. Now, go read it and tell me what you think, OK?
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Arranged marriage is prominent in the older days when it was our grandparents or their parents or their grandparents.
I know it’s not really acceptable in our society today as everyone tends to find the one of their choice. Everyone is thinking of their own freedom to choose.
However if you look back, the arranged marriage of yesteryears actually lasted so much longer and they are so much more in love rather than some of the so called our own chosen one which results in divorce, abandoned children and so many other issues that I could not even start to imagine
pelf: No doubt about that. Arranged marriages do last longer as we can see these days, but I don’t know, the thought of it just scares me!
Almost 95% of my friends from India who are married, had their marriage arranged by their parents. And in that country, the couples get way less than 2 years to get used to each other. I have known some who got married after 4 meetings in 1 month.
In that nation, the classifieds have special sections for matrimony, and arranged married is considered the norm.
I think marriage can work both when arranged or otherwise.
pelf: As long as both parties wanted it to work, right?
good if between u & me, bad otherwise ! (hehehe)
actually it can be good, can be bad.
Thats life, nothing is certain. U have da statistics of course.
( I still see no food ?) Yr 2nd PhD is slipping….)
pelf: Whoops!! I had completely forgotten about the food posts!! Muahaha, will TRY to work on that
Now that the bf found out about the blog..
I think there are some good things about arranged marriages, for one the couple cannot get divorced so the children have more stability growing up. So many people who “choose” their partners change their minds after a while. Maybe it just goes to show that we should let our parents decide everything for us :-P
pelf: Why didn’t I think of this earlier? Just let the parents decide!
Hhaha..
When I think about marriage these two sayings always come to mind:
I resolve not just to marry the person I love, but to love the person I marry. and The best thing that parents can do for their children is to love each other.
pelf: How “right” they sound, huh?
You want to know why arranged marriages last longer? It’s because the both of them work at the relationship instead of just letting emotions (i.e. falling in love) take its course.
pelf: Exactly.. It needs to be worked on, huh?
Arranged marriage scare the hell out of me. It’s so weird… Just can’t explain. Really weird… *shrug* If it’s just parents introducing their son/daughter to their friends or whoever son/daughter and want them to get to know each other and let the son/daughter to decide whether they want to be friend or not before going for anything further, then it’s OK but I still find it weird -.-” I would rather make my own friends rather than making friends with someone that my parents intro.
pelf: I’d rather make my own friends too, but *points up to Kat’s comment* Kat also has her point, you know.. Apparently, “our” decision may not always be the “right” one, hahha..
I mean… “If it’s just parents introducing their son/daughter to their friend’s son/daughter and want them to get to know each other and let the son/daughter to decide whether they want to be friend or not before going for anything further, then it’s OK but I still find it weird -.-”
pelf: *smiles* Weird, that’s how I thought I’d feel too